


in the still of the night

by whatamidoingeven



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-09
Updated: 2014-01-09
Packaged: 2018-01-08 02:36:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1127341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatamidoingeven/pseuds/whatamidoingeven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyouko has always had a problem with leaving, but she has always come back. Until a night when she doesn't, and Mami fears she'll have to repeat something she would rather forget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	in the still of the night

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in a post-series, pre-Rebellion world. Also, there are several references to events in The Different Story manga.

It wasn’t unlike Kyouko to run away.

It had been two years since Kyouko had finally put aside her pride and took up Mami’s offer to live with her. It was simply no longer feasible for Kyouko to subsist on theft and illusion to stay living in a hotel. She had reenrolled in school, at Mami and Homura’s insistence, and doing so left less and less time for her to fight the demons necessary to replenish magic she was using just to survive.

Besides, Sayaka wouldn’t approve of the way she was living her life. It had been 4 years since she was taken by the Law of Cycles, and while Kyouko would struggle admitting it out loud, Sayaka had stuck with her, the voice of her conscious. Where it had once been easy to write off her actions as ‘just a way to get by’, it seemed like every day it became more of a lie than any kind of justification.

Kyouko finally accepted the hand that Mami had extended more than two years prior, and they had fallen into a routine in the two years since. It was comforting, and helped mend the seams ripped by tragedy in the lives of both girls.

Still, it wasn’t unlike Kyouko to leave.

The first instance of this was jarring to Mami. Kyouko hadn’t even been living with her for a month when she first left- without a word, of course. Mami’s first instinct had been to search for her. To have Kyouko leave her, suddenly and unexpectedly, in their days as senpai and kohai had been too much.

Having it happen a second time, with different circumstances, different emotions, was inconceivable.

She searched for hours, but it was useless. Kyouko was well acquainted with the city, knew it’s every alley and hideout, and Mami was rewarded for her unfruitful efforts with a once-again empty apartment.

She hadn’t expected Kyouko to come back. No one ever came back.

But she did, stumbling into Mami’s apartment once more, no explanation, no reasoning. Mami didn’t bother pestering her for them, either. Some things she was better off not knowing.

Kyouko’s treks would become routine, and Mami wouldn’t bother searching for her anymore, although she couldn’t keep her heart from dropping every time she left. Once bitten, twice shy, she supposed.

The longer Kyouko stayed with Mami, the shorter these excursions became. It was rarer now for her to even leave at all. She was older now, and these trips had become harder and harder to justify, even to Kyouko herself. There were some things even Kyouko knew she couldn’t run away from.

When Mami hears a door shut early one evening, she doesn’t think twice about it or the girl who has just left.

It’s not until hours pass, until darkness seeps over every street corner in Mitakihara that Mami gives it a second thought.

——

There is something wrong here, and she feels it- this isn’t Kyouko, not the Kyouko that had been living with her. When she left, she always came back, and she hadn’t stayed out this long in over a year.

It wasn’t smart for her to be out this late. Demons got stronger with the darkness, and she was by herself. Kyouko was more than capable of maintaining her own wellbeing in combat, but there would only be so much she could do if she was faced with four, five demons. Factor in the freezing bite of winter and Mami can’t leave Kyouko by herself. Not tonight.

It’s not long after she first decides to pursue Kyouko that Mami is stuck in the same position she always used to find herself in. She’s searching anywhere and everywhere and Kyouko is nowhere. It’s getting later and colder and it’s nothing that Mami is surrounded by, nothing except the horizon of the city and the trails of her breaths as they leak into the winter air. After two hours of searching and uncovering zero leads, Mami pauses.

_“Isn’t it obvious where she’d be?”_

The higher tone, that resonance that doesn’t age as everything around it does, rings in her ears. Kyuubey’s voice is out of place for the depth of night they find themselves in, but Mami is thankful to hear it, thankful to hear anything that isn’t her own, progressively gloomier, thoughts.

“Kyuubey… have you seen her?”

_“I have not. But I would suggest that you rethink your strategy of locating Sakura Kyouko.”_

Nothing changes in his voice but the message seems cryptic, stilted.

“What do you mean by that?”

_“Ah, I’m merely suggesting that perhaps your tracking strategy isn’t optimal given the person you are trying to find.”_

Mami doesn’t really need to hear this from Kyuubey. The numbness that’s beginning to settle in her fingers and toes is telling her as much already.

_“In order to find Sakura Kyouko, it may be best to search locations where you’ve found her before…”_

“Where I’ve…”

_“… and hope that the circumstances are different.”_

It doesn’t take long for Mami to connect the dots of Kyuubey’s words, and the realization of what this could possibly mean is horrifying.

It brings new life to her actions, spurred from memories of a night she never hoped to relive.

There’s no time to dawdle, and now that she has a solid idea of where to look, Mami journeys immediately to neighboring Kasemino, through residential and selling districts.

She was too late then. She can’t be late again. Not this time.

Her memories repeat themselves in her mind the entire trip, scenes she’s never wanted to replay. Kyouko was dying, lifeless in the snow when she last found her. Kyouko would have rather been dead, too, and Mami doesn’t want to think about it, she’s never wanted to think about it. She would never wish that on anybody, and has never wanted to see Kyouko like that again, never fathomed that she would have to.

Kyouko is there when Mami arrives, emerging from the surrounding forest into the clearing where she had found the broken girl years ago.

She’s not fighting for her life this time, instead staring into what seems to be an endless winter night sky, and when Mami approaches her, she can hear Kyouko take a sharp breath.

For a moment, there’s nothing. Neither girl speaks. It’s a silence of contemplation.

“Heh. I knew you’d find me here eventually. Y’know, even if it did take you forever…”

It takes a moment for Mami to muster up the composure to even squeak out a reply.

“…Why? Why did you-“

“Leave? I…”

Kyouko needs to take a breath. She prepared a response, but delivering it is proving trickier.

“…it’s never anything I’ve planned on doing, y’know. I never leave…just to leave. Or because I don’t want to be home or nothin’. It’s just…”

Mami stays silent. She should be relieved at that, but for some reason, it just makes her more anxious.

“…sometimes I just need to be with them.  I-I…”

It’s the same moon Kyouko is staring at, and the same silent tears she’s shedding as she was then. Mami can understand where she’s coming from.

She knows that you still belong to a family once it’s gone.

“Kyouko, I…I underst-”

“No, you don’t.”

The response is sharp, and it cuts deep. Mami has heard this before, years ago before Kyouko inexplicably left. It stings, but before she can really react to it Kyouko begins again.

“You don’t understand…this sort of pain. You understand something else. Something… that still hurts. But it’s not..this.”

Now it’s Mami’s turn to cry, something she’s tried to do less of with age, but she can’t help it, this all seems too familiar and she knowshow this ends.

“But…that’s not why I’m here. I’m here because, well, sometimes I feel like…like they’re calling me. I sound like a nerd, I know, but they just..”

A pause, inhale, recalibration.

“…I don’t know, but I need to come visit them. To be a part of my family.”

The only thing Mami can even think to do is listen, to try to connect with her but she’s never had as steep of an emotional debt as Kyouko has.

At least her parents loved her when they passed.

“But-“

Kyouko turns around to face Mami for the first time since she arrived, and it’s the first time she notices that she’s been crying.

“-Wha! Mami-san, what’s wrong?!”

Mami sniffles weakly, tries to dry her eyes on a coat sleeve and regain some of the composure she’s kicking herself for losing in the first place.

“A-ah, sorry, Sakura-san. I’m just…I’m sorry you never really got closure on…e-everything and I’m s-s-sorry yo-“

Kyouko inturrupts her with an eye roll and a sudden hug.

There’s a silent moment, a bit of shock sinking into Mami as she adjusts to the unexpected embrace.

Kyouko’s been here before, knows Mami better than she did back then, better than she ever has.

“I’m not gonna leave you, Mami-san. You can stop worrying, y’know. I always come back, don’t I?”

It’s shock that hits Mami again, coupled with the cold, and it shoots straight to her bones.

“H-how did you…”

A chuckle, “You’ve always been a really shitty liar, senpai.”

The slight snark in Kyouko’s voice helps Mami to relax, and she’s finally able to reciprocate Kyouko’s embrace.

“Y’know, there’s a reason I always come back…”

A gust of wind shakes the remaining leaves on the trees surrounding them, the only noise around, the only sign that they are not alone.

“…w-well, I said that my family, they kind of call me back here, y-y’know…”

She’s nervous, and the combination of her nerves and the freezing air intensifies her stutters.

“…w-well, they tell me to go back too. Always. B-b-because..”

Kyouko pulls back now. She’s trying, really trying to be smooth but a quivering lower lip makes her look more like a nervous school boy confessing his love.

“…b-because I’ve got the s-s-start of a ne-new family here.”

With that, Kyouko slowly leans in, too slowly, her lips quivering from the temperature and temptation and Mami can’t help but smile and shake her head as it’s her that initiates the kiss, long and slow and loving.

When they break apart, Mami swears she can see Kyouko’s face change shades of red, and she knows it’s not from the bite of the air.

It makes her giggle, “We should get going. It’s late. And cold.”

“Y-yeah, let’s go…” she swings her hand forward, fingers intertwining with Mami’s

“…home.”


End file.
